Throughout the first year of parenthood, I’d remind myself a basic truth about newborns (I believe, at least). A new baby’s needs are so basic, that in the first year, humanity is engineered to train adults to be parents. Baby sleeps, baby eats, baby plays, and that’s it. If the doctor gives you the all-clear, it’s on to the next stage, the next month, or whatever. The parent’s job is to love that child. Most of us, born with the skill of empathy, do well in this stage.
Cut to now. Daniel crossed over into Toddlerhood in the last week. Now, when he’s awake at night, he may be crying out for things that don’t need to be (or shouldn’t be) given a response. This was true last night, when Daniel didn’t fall asleep until 11:30, then was up at 2 a.m. with a piercing scream. He was changed, given food, but didn’t stop screaming. We debated how to address this. He really hasn’t gone to this point before; usually, his cries signal something that can be fixed. Lately, I’ve been wary (through relieved at the same time) that when Daniel cries out, a quick pat and a pick-up is all he needed to calm. I say wary because I think I’ve trained him to call out for this contact, on pain of a tantrum. Like the one this morning.
Our ensuing late-night discussion centered around letting him cry it out, something we’ve hesistated to do until now, versus putting him in the car and driving around. The drive method is a tip passed around by just about every parent I know, including my own. However, we ultimately decided to give Daniel some water, since he may have been left hungry from a light dinner. We’ve been attempting to get him totally weaned off all milk from a bottle, something we’ve been successful with, I believe. Daniel has been very interested in the food we’ve given him, so the transition to solid food has gone well overall.
The bottom line: he fell asleep, and slept until 6:30 this morning.
We’ll attempt to cry-it-out method some more. A co-worker of mine recommended literature based on this approach, and she swears by it. Now, however, I’m feeling guilt from lack of preparation for this new stage. And a longing for the days of immediate response to any discomfort. It was only a week ago.
